September 7, 2008
I don't usually talk about my personal life here, but I have to make an exception in this case.
I debated for days which geeky reference I would use as a synonym for "we're having a baby". The title is the best I could do. I'm truly sorry.
As an aside, this is something my wife and I have worked at for a number of years, and was only truly possible through the Miracle of Sciencetm. Despite the best of intentions, you really start to resent all those teenage couples who manage to get pregnant so awkwardly and accidentally. Oh, that's right! You have sex! It's so obvious in retrospect!
Not that managing to procreate is anything special compared to programming. Just ask the inestimable Richard Stallman:
It doesn't take special talents to reproduce -- even plants can do it. On the other hand, contributing to a program like Emacs takes real skill. That is really something to be proud of.
It helps more people, too.
At any rate, I'm looking forward to stocking our unborn child's mind with all my insane, crazy ideas. I think Dave Eggers said it best in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, describing a road trip he took with his younger brother after the death of his parents:
His brain is my laboratory, my depository. Into it I can stuff the books I choose, the television shows, the movies, my opinion about elected officials, historical events, neighbors, passersby. He is my twenty-four-hour classroom, my captive audience, forced to ingest everything I deem worthwhile. He is a lucky, lucky boy! And no one can stop me. He is mine, and you cannot stop me, cannot stop us. Try to stop us, you pu**y! You can't stop us from singing, and you can't stop us from making fart sounds, from putting our hands out the window to test the aerodynamics of different hand formations, from wiping the contents of our noses under the front of our seats.
We cannot be stopped from looking with pity upon all the world's sorry inhabitants, they unblessed by our charms, unchallenged by our trials, unscarred and thus weak, gelatinous. You cannot stop me from telling Toph to make comments about and faces at the people in the next lane.
It's unfair. The matchups, Us. v. Them (or you) are unfair. We are dangerous. We are daring and immortal. Fog whips up from under the cliffs and billows over the highway. Blue breaks from beyond the fog and sun suddenly screams from the blue.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, with any luck, he or she will be scarred for life. That's a proud family tradition where I come from.
Posted by Jeff Atwood
Ian, that's even better. Somehow this has to be incorporated into a nerd pickup line - wanna go back to my place and fork.
Best example of 1+1=3 :-) .
All the best to your wife.
Make sure he'll have good environment, don't let him talk to the PHP, ruby, and python kids :P
Send him to a .NET School :P
Congratulations, Jeff! I think your title was just geeky enough, but not too much. :)
Stallman is a self-worshipper.
Every conception is a miracle. If you can write a program that can impregnate someone with a child, and that child is apart of the code that you wrote, I would be impressed....
When I try to tell my friends with no kids what it's like I tell them that it's like going from black-and-white to color, although perhaps of a slightly boring movie. Lots of mundane headed your way, but there is a richness to it that can't be described.
Congrats Jeff (and family)!
OMFGWTFBBQ!!! Nice work, Jeff!
Congratulations on the new edition to the home. Life will change, for the better.
Sleep. Now. Please. Lots.
Your first few months with the baby may be easy, in which case you'll be happy you're well-rested and able to process it all effectively and enjoy it; they may be difficult, in which case the sleep you bank now will work to cushion you against the crushing effects of sleep deprivation.
Congratulations on your baby. =)
Gotta add my congratulations!
You've taken the first step toward becoming a father!
Remember, Scott H has been extolling the virtues of his two upon us and how technology has played in his experiences with them. You need to do the same to give a differing view of these experiences.
Good luck, and I hope all goes well up to and after the delivery of you first! It will be the most enjoyable experience you will ever have!
Just think... you'll have your very own Mini Me!
Ah, I think I beat you on the geekiness: I used 1UP for my second child's faire-part. Congratulations!
Congratulations Elizabeth and Jeff.
All the best on the journey of unconditional love; the best and least measurable return on investment of any project; and discovering you can do more with fewer hours of sleep than you ever imagined possible.
But shouldn't the title have been Spawning a Child Process?
Fantastic news. Good luck with process control!
Great news !!!
Now we have 2 coding horrors.....
While I am not a father myself, I still know what a blessing those little souls are, as there has recently been a little baby boom in my family, too (I have a young sister and a niece now). It is really amazing how your viewpoint changes and your priorities shift once you are exposed to children. I can only guess how much more that must be true, if those children are your own.
Oh and I think what most parents like to hear: Your child looks just like you ;)
Congrats - Jeff.
The wife and I hit the Miracle of Science lottery roughly three years ago and ended up with boy/girl twins who are about to turn two.
Get ready for quite a change...
But remember With great power comes great responsibility. - Stan Lee
Delighted for you!
I hope your child opens Coding Horror for Kids in 3 to 5 years so I can get my kids to read it then ;)
Toutes mes flicitations [Fr] !
I'm a young father of a 1 month old baby and I deeply hope the best for you 3 !
Congrats, Jeff! As a father of 2, my advice to you is to sleep now, as much as you can.
Hearty congratulations Jeff!
I wish that this CreateProcess() executes without exceptions. All the best to you n your wife. GOD bless.
Congrats with the little fella :)
Ditto for the sleeping advice.
Welcome to parenthood and have a good one :)
There’s no way to be a perfect parent, but there’s a million ways to be a good one!
Cheers - Prakash
First time I've ever posted on your blog, but wanted to drop a congratulations! We're expecting our third in January. While we didn't have to resort to science, it did take several years. Again, congrats!
By the way, I'm one of those who manage to get pregnant so awkwardly and accidentally ;)
Congratulations Jeff and also to your wife Betsy!
Stock away.. at some point, however, they turn into teenagers and your stocking is finished (or at least it appears to be). Not sure what happens after that.
But you will have 12 great years or so before that time comes!
Our daughter just born two weeks ago. Now I feel I didn't take the sleeping advice seriously enough :-)
Congratulations, and welcome to a whole new world!
Congratulations. You're entering a world of pain, but it's still worth it! :)
Yay for IVF! It sounds awful, but it makes you feel that they're much more precious than those who seemed to have kids without even trying!
No one has mentioned that when you fork you quite often spawn a new process.
Congratulations, it is a blast but hard work in a completly differnt way to what I have known.
I am teaching our little nearly 3 year old the alphabet via the keyboard... it is working quite well.
Congratulations and best wishes!
You're in for a wild ride. I am new to this as well, with a 1 year old girl who became the center of my life - you are going to learn what worrying really means.
Congratulations Jeff, best of luck. My wife and I are going through IVF at present after a number of years of trying naturally, it's a tough road and I'm pleased it worked out for you.
What do you base your comments on?
In New Zealand there is a pool of couples waiting on a list to adopt a child. Many of these couples will never get a child through adoption. In my region there where only 2 children placed with adoptive parents last year. Needless to say the waiting pool is significantly larger than 2 couples.
I don't see IVF as a selfish option.
Hey Now Jeff,
Congrats! Get ready to install baby smash. Wish you the best.
Coding Horror Fan,
Congratulations and best of luck
Many congratulations! Being a new father-of-the-most-beautiful-baby-girl-in-the-world myself, there are no words to describe the delight of seeing your own child grow and develop day after day.
And that's in spite of getting pooped on, puked on, yelled at and sleep-deprived. Those things become trivialities when the perpetrator is capable of showing absolute, unconditional, infinite DELIGHT at seeing you.
Anyway, good luck to you and your wife :).
Great title Jeff - made me LOL when I saw the title and the scan in my feed reader.
Congratulations - and all the best to you and family. As on commenter already said, get some sleep in now.
Congratulations Jeff, that's awesome news! May your shared memory be forever free from deadlock.
Good luck with process control!
Yeah that's right. This is obviously a high-priority process that will chew up a big chunk of your dual core (parents). Hopefully, your scheduling algorithm is well tuned so that codinghorror and stackoverflow don't become zombie tasks.
Welcome to the wonderful world of time-management.
Eric (also part of a dual core managing our two processes)
Congrats Jeff! My wife and I also had difficulties, but we now have two wonderful sons, one of whom turned nine last Saturday. Holy crap, I'm old.
Anyway, as others have said, catch up on your sleep now while you can...
Why do people insist on having IVF when there are so many orphans who need a loving family?
I'm sure you are very happy, but why force something that doesn't want to happen when there is a chance to change a life that was never given the love it needed.
IVF is the selfish option
Many congratulations Jeff!
Me and my wife are also going to the first ultrasound examination in two weeks. I can't wait.
Having a child is like sex.. no wait. It is like software, like Stallman said. First time I agree with him since 1990.
I was going to add a crude joke about memory leaks, bugs, processes and other programmers, but let's only think of wonderful futures for a while!
All the best to all of you!!!
Just do not be surprised if it turns out to be him/her stocking ideas in your mind and not a vice versa :)
Sometimes it is hard to say who is really raising whom :)
Life Changing - the things that seemed important before no longer are.
Gina Ford, Contented Little Baby book. Get it. Follow it.
When I first read it I thought Military operation, there is now way I'm following that rubbish, but after two months we have a baby that is regular like clock work. And does sleep from 10:30 until 6:45. We didn't follow it for the first month and he (and we) were all over the place, two months later no complaints.
It also means I can say Sorry, got to go have to bath the baby at 5:45
We also needed the miracle of science and have never regretted it.
My daughters are now 12 and 14 - they are both a delight - I don't believe the teenagers are hell rubbish.
You are certainly going to find out how little sleep you can manage with - unfortunately it doesn't help to stock up in advance.
I thought it was very funny when I opened it up and saw the ultrasound.
Congratulations, and good luck surviving the period between thread spawning and .sleep() finally working right :p
Everyone's saying congratulations, so I'll be the first to say it.
Dude, bad luck. Kids suck.
Looks like a very early alpha release to me ;-)
Congratulations, and all the best.
Hearty congratulations Jeff!!
And yeah.. your baby sure looks likes you ;-)
And there I was thinking this was going to be an article on the architecture of Google's Chrome...
Just you wait. Speaking from experience i will predict that even with your dual processor setup you will see 100% loads on poth processors for some time. And the I/O issues you will be facing, my god, don't get me started.
And don't forget to start the download of Hanselman's BabySmash! Immediately! ;-)
Following your logic, why reproduce at all, when you could just go pick up an orphan?
My wife and I had the same problem about spawning a new process during five very loooong years. That's why I feel very very happy for you both.
Do you feel that this is a kind of IT professionals problem?
I hope you'll find my blog (troubleshooting david.exe) useful :)
Congratulations Jeff. The world needs more Atwood-type-people. I won't make any corny process puns (I tried but the good ones are already taken) but best of luck!
Congrats Jeff! Say my hello to the new-atwood.exe :)
Wow!! Very excited. My wife says congrats too.
Replicating/Serializing to flesh/Creating a backup copy is a wonderful transaction.
Best of luck
congrats. I figured you might be going through some kind of challenges not having children in our age (IIRC, you and I are the same age).
My wife and I have been going through the similar medical process, no luck yet, but we're not giving up.
One more thing to the commenter who said
Why do people insist on having IVF when there are so many orphans who need a loving family?
In short, because the laws in many countries make this process insanely complicated and time consuming. I know of two persons in two different countries (USA and France) that ended up adopting children from China as the procedure is drastically simpler.
Congratulations! Becoming a father is a joy that nothing else can parallel in this world. It's be a life changing and eye opening experience for you. Welcome to the parenting club :)
This is a personal decision. If you think its the right thing, go ahead and adopt 10 children and teach them your values. But let other people live how they want to.
Excellent news; as a relative newcomer via a colleague/friend who is a Stack Overflower, may I wish you all the best.
Ditto all the sleep comments - although you get used to it; you've done pre-rollout all-nighters haven't you? It's like that, every day for the first year.
Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood and experience the joys and emotions you never have. There never is a dull moment!
congratulations...welcome to less sleep, loads of hair pulling, weird smells, and quite possibly an angelic smile (no, the baby can't possibly get that from you - it's from your wife :D)
Forget about transferring all your ideas and knowledge.
If you raise them while staying mentally sane, you have done one hell of job.
Congrats and all the best to mom.
Congrats! I've got a 10 month old. Its a blast! We got lucky, I guess. He's slept through the night from a few weeks old.
I can't resist offering one piece of advice, though I'm sure you're sick of reading it by now. Its only a single word, though. SCHEDULE.
Congratulations! With a new kid and your stackoverflow.com, does this mean that you will start updating your blog annually?
Jeff - congratulations, and it's a great title. Good luck with everything.
Jeff, congratulations to you and your wife! Being a father is a wonderful experience, although sometimes much like a rollercoaster ride...
Congratulations Jeff! Hope he grows up with a minimum of bugs :)
(and is born with a minimum of syntax errors)
Congrats Jeff! My oldest just moved out on his own and I can't believe it went by so fast. Enjoy!
Congratulations, Jeff. As a three time parent who also went through some challenges getting pregnant, I understand how you feel. While you can now officially say good-bye to free time, being a dad is really great.
Congratulations Jeff! Prepare for your life to be turned upside down - in a good way.....mostly :)
We struggled having our second child and like you had to turn to the miracle of science. Once born the doctors said that's it, we'd have to have the miracle of science x 2 to have any hope of another. Lo and behold 3 years later BANG, number 3 arrived without any science just some teenage jiggery pokery :) Nice surprise !
No doubt we'll see lots of late night posts to the blog while you're up feeding/changing baby !!
Mucho Congrats Jeff.
Well done making it thru IVF with your sanity intact (I hope)...