September 7, 2008
I don't usually talk about my personal life here, but I have to make an exception in this case.
I debated for days which geeky reference I would use as a synonym for "we're having a baby". The title is the best I could do. I'm truly sorry.
As an aside, this is something my wife and I have worked at for a number of years, and was only truly possible through the Miracle of Sciencetm. Despite the best of intentions, you really start to resent all those teenage couples who manage to get pregnant so awkwardly and accidentally. Oh, that's right! You have sex! It's so obvious in retrospect!
Not that managing to procreate is anything special compared to programming. Just ask the inestimable Richard Stallman:
It doesn't take special talents to reproduce -- even plants can do it. On the other hand, contributing to a program like Emacs takes real skill. That is really something to be proud of.
It helps more people, too.
At any rate, I'm looking forward to stocking our unborn child's mind with all my insane, crazy ideas. I think Dave Eggers said it best in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, describing a road trip he took with his younger brother after the death of his parents:
His brain is my laboratory, my depository. Into it I can stuff the books I choose, the television shows, the movies, my opinion about elected officials, historical events, neighbors, passersby. He is my twenty-four-hour classroom, my captive audience, forced to ingest everything I deem worthwhile. He is a lucky, lucky boy! And no one can stop me. He is mine, and you cannot stop me, cannot stop us. Try to stop us, you pu**y! You can't stop us from singing, and you can't stop us from making fart sounds, from putting our hands out the window to test the aerodynamics of different hand formations, from wiping the contents of our noses under the front of our seats.
We cannot be stopped from looking with pity upon all the world's sorry inhabitants, they unblessed by our charms, unchallenged by our trials, unscarred and thus weak, gelatinous. You cannot stop me from telling Toph to make comments about and faces at the people in the next lane.
It's unfair. The matchups, Us. v. Them (or you) are unfair. We are dangerous. We are daring and immortal. Fog whips up from under the cliffs and billows over the highway. Blue breaks from beyond the fog and sun suddenly screams from the blue.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, with any luck, he or she will be scarred for life. That's a proud family tradition where I come from.
Posted by Jeff Atwood
One word of warning: look up what meconium is before the big day arrives.
Congradulations and may a wonderful life be ahead for your family!
~1209600 seconds till our first child is due.
Definitely something in the water this year, seems like everybody's having a baby!
Congrats and good luck. Right must get some sleep, night!
Hey Jeff congrats. I've got 2 of my own (twins, one of each, now 10.5 years old) we also got them through IVF. I feel your frustration about the teenage couples... although it was the friends/family who seem to imply we just didn't know how to do it just relax, go on holiday, have a glass of wine they were the ones that frustrated me.
But that was years ago, once it's out and crying how you got it matters much less.
My advice is: don't talk down to them and explain the how and why of things. Don't worry if some of it goes over thier heads, they grow into the language really fast.
That said sometimes a I have say to myself no I really *did* want smart inquisitive chiildren
It's hard work but worth it in the long run (oh and in the short run too)
Adoption is great, but in the United States we are having kids below the replacement rate (immigration is the only reason the population is increasing), and there are really not that many kids up for adoption. I run into people all the time that think that there are still orphanages crammed with kids in the U.S. Quite the contrary. Orphanages have essentially ceased to exist here, and people that want to adopt often end up waiting a long, long time before a child is available for them. Many ultimately give up and go to other countries to find a child to adopt.
Yes, it is a different situation globally, but I just thought I'd point out that from a U.S. point of view we are having a low number of kids and also absorbing immigrants and adoptees from other countries, so people here choosing to go the IVF route is not part of a larger problem.
I also don't know why people who go with IVF get picked on more than people who have a child without special measures. A couple choosing to have a child is having the same impact whether they do it with IVF or without, so I don't understand this notion that it's somehow just a little bad if you have a kid normally but is extra bad if you have one through IVF. If anything, I'd think a significant proportion of kids conceived normally are unwanted, will have a rough time of it, and society may also have a rough time with them. Children born with IVF are clearly very much wanted by their parents. Go pick on drunken teenagers if you want to pick on someone for having irresponsible births.
I'll pass on the wisdom my father passed to me:
This is the easy part!
Congratulations Jeff. I rarely comment on blogs, but this insight into your life, does really help make a connection with me. I'm on the same boat, still not ready for IVF; but thinking about it. Congratulations, best of wishes.
So does this mean that several years worth of prolonged programming binges can make it difficult to impregnant a woman?
Say no. Please.
Congratulations! We have a ten-month old, and the only full-nights of sleep I've had since were while at Software Development. Though the first night, I still woke up at the normal feeding times.
You will be amazed at how fast they develop personality and preferences. And then how quickly they change. Somedays I think that he changes his preferences because he knows my wife and I have adapted to his current prefs.
Still I wouldn't trade it for anything.
congratulations and best wishes
Congratulations man good luck on an amazing journey. ;)
Congrats! Great geeky title.. I actually got quite a kick out of it.. it's much better than Jeff 2.0.
For some baby name help check out this site...
i stumbled across it back when we were looking for names for our baby.
Congratulations! I hope you are all healthy and well, and wish you and your family all the best. A new child is a great present (and commitment). Becoming a father is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me...
There is all kinds of advice to give new parents, but the best advice I ever received was to sleep when your newborn sleeps.
Congratulations Jeff, as a father my heart goes out to you. Be prepared for a atleast one year of odd sleep schedules (infants can sleep as much as 12 hours, just not 12 hours straight), lots of dirty clothes, and some pretty nasty stuff. RMS only had part of that statement correct. While it doesn't take much to create a child you'll be perfecting him or her for the rest of your life.
It's only after having a son of my own did I understand the work my mom had to put in to get us where we are today. And she had to raise 4 of us!
Please be as curious as your kid is about the world. As adults we take for granted that we have seen a lot and tend to gloss over things easily. I never paid attention to buskers until recently, when my son liked the music one day. Then I noticed all the other parents who were also stopping.
It's only fair since she's doing all the real work here.
My wifes comment one day when she came home really tired. Man, I'm beat we had two codes today and I grew a lung.
Congratulations J B, sleep is for wusseys!
Mine is nearly 30 and they have been the best 30 years of my life (so far).
Invest in being human now and reap massive returns in the future as well as a journey that unfolds magic in every moment of every day.
All of the best, Mike
Nice fork()! Congratulations!!
Don't be afraid to keep us informed. We want to know if the baby is Jeff 2.0 or wife 2.0 :-)
Congratulations from Santiago, Chile!
I hope all go well.... and welcome to a new life
Congratulations. My Agile partner and I also used The Miracle of Science development methodology to spawn a new process. There was an unintentional fork, and we are now blessed with two two year old boys.
Congratulations, Jeff. Very exciting! Way better than emacs.
Congratulations. Having a child is kinda like you'd expect; except that falling in love with them in the way that you will is completely unexpectable.
Just wait for its first core dump.
I'd been suspecting for some time that Jeff Atwood was a fictional character. Now I'm nearly certain. Any blog with this much positive reaction has to be duping someone.
Congrats Jeff! Good luck with your new addition to the family.
On a side note, what the heck is Stallman talking about? If you were to dismiss Steve Job's or Bill Gate's conception as useless and it doesn't help out other people you would be contradicting yourself. What if your parents thought how you did and didn't want to have you? I guess maybe the world would THEN be better off. Sometimes this man makes the most stupid comments, just go and ask Steve or Bill's parents if they aren't proud of there kids and if they think if they didn't have their kids that it would of helped out more people.
Sometimes I think Richard sounds like Michael Moore with his outrageous comments and claims. Richard, I've just lost more respect for you again. Life is a gift, I've seen some amazing people come from some families that you would think shouldn't be reproducing (Idiocracy anyone) but everything worked out and that's the miracles of life.
Never commented here before but been a reader for some time now.
Just wanted to say congratulations and thanks for all the great reads!
Congratulations sir. Here's to the many late nights and early mornings and funny looks that lie ahead :)
I wonder what happened at the constructor, since the process is not spawned that easy, you say. Maybe add some more non-premature optimization? Or was the thread pool deadlocked?
Re: The laboratory of the young mind.
The stochastics predominate. The only hope of attaining meaningful results is to seek patterns in the chaos.
Good luck, congratulations and may God be with you all.
Congrats! Like everyone else, my small portion of advice is as follows:
Start your hundredpushups.com training regimen now; getting in serious shape will help so much with the feedings every 120 minutes and severe lack of sleep your about to endure. I was a little off my game last April with my first one and I wish I had done it earlier.
That picture may only be at 13 weeks and 1 day, but there is definately some Coding Horror potential in that head. Well, it looks like a head, do they have heads at 13 weeks?
Congratulations, Jeff! You've managed to scare the entirety of your readers with the news that you are reproducing! :)
Congrats. I too needed the miracle of science to aid in reproduction. It took a long damn while, but eventually we were able to complete the development project ahead of deadline by 9 weeks, unfortunately quite a bit over budget.
Watching your kids develop is one of the greatest and freakiest things you'll ever witness. Freaky because they really reflect you back to yourself. And the great moments just pile up one after another. I'm proud to say that my almost 9 year old daughter has almost completely memorized the dialog of the original Star Wars trilogy as well as LOTR. I'm sure she'll impress some geeky boy with that ability at some point. And so the future of geekdom will be ensured.
have fun, you deserve it. And you aren't the only one to get ticked off at people accidentally becoming pregnant... I had to avoid them in order to keep myself from murderous rage.
Congrats Jeff !
Its a good news to start my day ...
Hope to see HorrorFather.com in few years time :)
Congratulations! Remember, only you know how to raise your own child. Don't listen to anyone about anything. You'll get conflicting advice from the nurses in the same hospital about EVERYTHING!
My son turned 2 months on the 5th. It's amazing to watch him learn. I seriously think of him as programmable. Amazing.
Congrats!, to both of you. Be warned: I've heard that new processes take up heaps of memory and generate lots of I/O errors; I hope you have automatic garbage collection. Good luck debugging :)
Congratulations and good luck!
I wish your future child the best. Additionally, I'm a developer FOR Philips Healthcare, and wanted to let you all know that we're releasing a new version of our TERRIBLE website on 9/27. There are all kinds of awesome clinical images to come, as well as much better UI examples. Thanks for letting me do my shameless plug. www.healthcare.philips.com :)
Congratulations! I had a second kid two months ago and they take turns keeping us awake, but it's soooooooo worth it! =)))))
Jeff, wonderful news! Welcome to the fold of fatherhood, one of the most rewarding experiences you will have. As the father of 2 girls, I have to find anything that can beat watching your children grow, develop, explore, and learn each day. Whether your child is laughing as she jumps down the stairs, or cooing as she grasps your fingers, you'll store those memories forever!
Stallman has some issues he's never worked out, and the more I listen to his beliefs and read his comments, the more I realize that while he has some decent ideas, he's not someone I would seek to emulate or seek respect from.
Wow, congratulations. We also had our first child later in our 30s, after getting medical help with the logistics of pregnancy. Raising kids changes everything.
Can't wait to read his/her blog. :)
Congratulations! And, yes, Stallman is an idiot ;-)
Congratulations! Having children changed the way I viewed life and priorities for the better. And when they hit 3 or 4 they are great usability testers and you can pay them with fruit snacks!
Congratulations! Especially that it must have been a long, long road to reach this goal. Congrats again!
You know Jeff, lot's of times I've thought of commenting here but never got around to it. This time I couldn't resist myself!
Congrats to you and your wife.
Will we be seeing some parenting hacks now?!!
Congratulations Jeff!, Let's hope the 2.0 version of you is even better =D
Congratulations Jeff! Sorry - no insightful words of wisdom from me, I am still stumbling through being a new father myself :)
Congratulations, Jeff! Incidentally, that process' priority will be realtime for the next couple of years, and, you will find you don't have the correct permissions to change it.
And to think, for the last few days I was worried that you had become deathly ill.
Wow..conggrats Jeff and Betsy.
Wow..congrats Jeff and Betsy.
Congratulations Jeff! Hope you have a beautiful healthy baby! Good Luck with everything!
And good luck for the coming years :)
Our first is due in 2 months.
Scary. Somehow programmers are spreading.
Congratulations Best Wishes!
I think we can expect you to start a new blog soon - ParentingHorror.com :-)
At least your baby will be a teenager at the right time, when geeks are cool, and quarterbacks are the laughing stock of high schools.
That'll show 'em.
welcome to the club.
and as Nathan said -- get all the sleep u can for the next few months.
Oh god. A little baby Atwood. Be afraid.
Seriously, enjoy every second!
And good luck in your new project :)
Congratulations on this extreamly fun programing project :-)
Way to go. You knocked her up good.
Congrats Jeff. Off to buy RockBand Baby Gear...
Well, I guess that explains the large break in posts!
Congratulations to you both! (To you three?)
Recent conversation between my 2yr old son and his grandmother:
gm: You know to listen to your daddy, right?
son: shaking his head and smiling, Noooo
Yeah, good luck in having control beyond 1 year old. :)
Heartiest Congratulations Jeff,
May GOD bless your kid, and may your kid live a purposeful life.
But I've enjoyed every bit of it so far. It wouldn't be any fun if your kids always listened... just easier.
if it's wasn't clear by now, I have no idea what I'm doing!
I'm guessing no one has an idea of what they're getting into the first time aroung.
Proud dad of a 4-month old. Enjoy your new addition!
Honestly when I saw the title I was expecting a follow-up to your previous post (on blog.stackoverflow.com) on Cache-based background tasks in ASP.NET.
Be sure your new solution is strongly typed, unit tested, and accepts valid parameters without returning too many arguments, or it may throw a TemperTantrumException or a HissyFitException when you least expect it.
Before I had kids my friends with kids tried to explain to me how much your life changes when you have them. Its one of those things like the Matrix that you can't be told about you have to experience it.
As a father of twins I had no comprehension of the scope and extent that my life would change until they arrived. I used to juggle many projects at one time now I have time for at most one.
Cherish your free time because it will only be a memory in a few what will feel like short months. Don't get me wrong, my kids are the best things that have happened to me. Just be prepared. Congrats by the way...
I always wonder where you find the time and energy to research all of these subjects that you write about. As a father of two small children who works from home regularly, I can tell you that it's VERY difficult just to focus on the work at hand, let alone find time to research new subjects. I wish you lots of luck.
Flicitations Jeff ! (Congratulations)
congrats! my nephews (3) were all conceived via IVF.
best of luck to you and your SVN repository (aka, wife)
Congratulations Jeff!! As a new dad myself, I can assure you that you are in for a wild ride. Resist the urge to buy neat gadgets. My son has an OLPC before he left the womb. I hope it's still relevant when he's old enough to actually use it...
Congratulations, can't wait to read hist first column.
But I don't think you will be successful in your geek teachings to the kid. As most children rebel against their parents, your kid will probably become a lawyer. :)
I read your blog as often as possible, and it is good to see that you have another excuse for not updating it as regularly as you did _apart_ from StackOverflow ;-) Looks like you're going to be really busy from now on. Enjoy the ride!
... so will you make him learn C? =)
Anyway, Congratulations !