Back in September 2008, I mentioned that we were spawning a new process. Well, that process arrived today, and its id is Henry Burton Atwood.
We're starting him off right with a little light reading.
You may recognize this book from Apple's Mac vs PC ad series, specifically, the "Gift Exchange" Mac vs PC ad.
Because, truly, what better gift is there for a newborn than the C++ GUI Programming Guide? Watch the ad to see what I mean. "I've been eyeing that myself."
All credit for creation of this new process of course goes to my wife Betsy who did the real work. I now truly understand the meaning of the classic Bill Cosby skit on childbirth.
Helping my wife walk the pain scale, going from pain level 7/10, 8/10 and then seeing the maw of darkness that lies at pain scale 10/10 and beyond, was quite an experience. How much pain? Well, imagine the worst pain you've ever experienced. Now imagine taking that pain, packing it in to a rickety Oldsmobile, setting it on fire, then driving it off the edge of a cliff at maximum speed. Into a valley filled with white-hot molten lava.
It's a little bit worse than that.
You may have heard that childbirth is a mystical, spiritual process. The thing that ties every human being together as one long continuous string of life, extending all the way back to the beginning of time. To a point, it is. As my friend Phil said, it's all ponies and butterflies. Until the ponies and butterflies start spontaneously screaming. But, it was all worth it to get Henry, who is genetically engineered to be awesome. Being a geek from birth, Henry has his own Twitter account, which was opened with exactly the first message you'd expect:
Hello World. Literally.
If you've been reading my blog for a while, I'm sure you know I will approach our new parenting adventure the same way I do programming -- with absolutely no freaking idea what I'm doing. And often hilarious results.
Here's to you, little guy, and every other little programmer being born around the world.
Looking forward to his blog posts. We all know his dad's blog has jumped the shark.
:P
Hearty congrats.
Kevin Dente on March 12, 2009 9:43 AMCongratulations Jeff. :)
Jacob on March 12, 2009 9:44 AMCongrats! That's fantastic.
Marc Hedlund on March 12, 2009 9:46 AMCongratulations :-)
Nigel on March 12, 2009 9:48 AMCongrats!!
Marcelo on March 12, 2009 9:49 AMCongratulations, Jeff! He looks just like you!
Mike Sickler on March 12, 2009 9:50 AMI'm expecting some fun error messages from this one :D
Adam on March 12, 2009 9:51 AMCongratulations! Just wait til he throws up an exception for the first time or dumps a core file into his diaper. I really can't imagine life without my four-week-old, and I'm sure you'll feel the same very shortly. Again, congratulations.
Lucas Oman on March 12, 2009 9:55 AMAlways have loved you blogs, Jeff. But now there's 2 to tango!!!
Well, the more, the merrier...
Congratulations :)
Cong. Good jobs for you both.
Ling on March 12, 2009 9:56 AMCongrats Jeff.
It should feel great on getting return value '0';
vaitheesk on March 12, 2009 10:00 AMWonderful - best post ever!
Congratulations!
Congratulations! I've seen three of my kids being born, so I can say from experience that it never gets old!
Graham on March 12, 2009 10:08 AMCongratulations Jeff. :)
Mohsin on March 12, 2009 10:18 AMCongratulations - was quite exciting watching your Twitter feed last night, brought back a lot of memories of when our kids were born. The adventure has only just begun, sir.
daftviking on March 12, 2009 10:19 AMCongrats!, just hang on the first three years.... it gets worse as they grow :D
Hope the best for the three of you
Congrats! Spend as much time with him as you can (and some that you can't). You won't regret it. I love every moment with my 2 year old.
Billy
Billy on March 12, 2009 10:25 AMCongratulations!
Mike on March 12, 2009 10:33 AMThat's fantastic news Jeff. Congrats to the 3 of you.
Joel on March 12, 2009 10:37 AMCongratulations Jeff. I hope all is well. You get a free pass from criticism today. :)
Charles on March 12, 2009 10:38 AMJeff,
Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block yet? If not get it, and hopefully it will work for you like it did for us. The strategies in there don't everyone, but are like magic when they do.
Congratulations too.
Russ
Russ on March 12, 2009 10:41 AMI hope you will be getting him one of these: http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/kids/59cc/
Joel on March 12, 2009 10:41 AMJeff, what are you doing blogging and taking silly pictures on such a day ??? :) Congratulations !
stereoharold on March 12, 2009 10:41 AMCongratulations Jeff. I'm so happy for you and Betsy. I love his first tweet.
Brandan on March 12, 2009 10:43 AM-.-. --- -. --. .-. .- - ..- .-.. .- - .. --- -. ... --..-- .--- . ..-. ..-. --- -. - .... . -. . .-- .--. .-. --- -.-. . ... ... .-.-.- -.-- --- ..- .-. -.-. .--. ..- .--- ..- ... - --. --- - --- ...- . .-. -.-. .-.. --- -.-. -.- . -.. .- -. -.. .-- .. .-.. .-.. -... . .--. . --. --. . -.. .- - .---- ----- ----- ..-. --- .-. - .... . .-. . ... - --- ..-. -.-- --- ..- .-. .-.. .. ..-. . .-.-.- ..- -. ..-. --- .-. - ..- -. .- - . .-.. -.-- --..-- ... -- .. .-.. . -.-- ... -.-. .- -. -. --- - -... . -.. --- -. . .. -. -- --- .-. ... . --..-- ... --- .--- ..- ... - ...- .. ... ..- .- .-.. .. --.. . --- -. . .... . .-. . .-.-.-
Charlie Owen on March 12, 2009 10:44 AMCongrats
BNip on March 12, 2009 10:45 AMYeah, that book's a real page turner by the looks of it...
Congratulations to you and your wife...
i++;
Congrats Jeff!!!!!
Hemanshu Bhojak on March 12, 2009 10:55 AMCongrats! Loved the twitter idea.
Mike Taylor on March 12, 2009 10:59 AMCongratulations!
Lucas mentioned the exceptions and core dumps. Good advice, but you really need to be ready for the buffer overruns and, er, stack overflows he's going to produce. Keep everything washable, and wash everything often.
Help your wife recover, then get on with enjoying your time together with Henry.
jonblock on March 12, 2009 11:04 AMwhile (this-alive()) { this-copy() }
Congrats :)
Congrats!!!
You bringing the little guy to Mix so we can take him to his first strip club...er...Open Spaces? ;)
Phil
Haacked on March 12, 2009 11:16 AMCongrats Jeff!
We'd like to read him soon as well, or maybe now you'll start quoting him instead of every other person around ;)
Mohit Nanda on March 12, 2009 11:17 AMCongrats!
Jeremy on March 12, 2009 11:20 AMCongratulations!
Calvin on March 12, 2009 11:21 AMWhatever you do, when the process becomes unresponsive (or just talks back), don't kill the process. much different results in real life than on a computer. usually locks you up.
Darren Kopp on March 12, 2009 11:22 AMCongrats Jeff!
Svet on March 12, 2009 11:22 AMCongrats. :)
AnonJr on March 12, 2009 11:22 AMCongrats :)
Amarghosh on March 12, 2009 11:23 AMCongratulations Jeff!!
Samrat Patil on March 12, 2009 11:27 AMPlease take time off from posting and coding! ;-) There's time for that, this moment will go by so fast that it's hard to believe. Take the time to enjoy your new life. It's all different now and much more important than anything computer related.
Michael D. Hall on March 12, 2009 11:32 AMCongratulations, Jeff. We forgive you in advance for the lapse in your schedule.
Enjoy your first stack overflow.
themagni on March 12, 2009 11:34 AMCongrats! Got myself two of those ;-)
qbeuek on March 12, 2009 11:36 AMCongratulations! Great book choice. However, don't mean to be the party pooper but what if Henry doesn't *want* to be a programmer? Not even Erlang (eyes still sore from Y-Combinator today)
imissmyjuno on March 12, 2009 11:46 AMhi jef,
Congrats let your son make you as proud as you made your father
Congrats Jeff! He looks just like you. :-)
Alek Davis on March 12, 2009 11:55 AMMany congratulations to all three of you. :) Wishing him well in whatever he chooses to do!
HenryAtwood.com is AVAILABLE! Let's see how long this lasts... muhahaha!
Congrats!
David on March 12, 2009 12:00 PMCongrats!!
Abhang on March 12, 2009 12:04 PMCongratulations! We have a four month-old process and as Charlie stated so well with his Morse code above, our processors have certainly been pegged at 100%. I'm not complaining though, he's been a joy for both of us and I'm sure you'll find the same.
Zann Anderson on March 12, 2009 12:04 PMWelcome to the world, Henry Burton Atwood! Congratulations, Betsy and Jeff. We are very happy for you.
Life will never be the same, and you would have it no other way.
Get all the sleep you can while he still sleeps, you know, like a baby--you are going to need it.
Patrick Wood on March 12, 2009 12:04 PMCongratulations Jeff!
Poor Betsy - two geeks to manage ... :-)
Juliet Dan on March 12, 2009 12:05 PMcongrats!
ding jianghao on March 12, 2009 12:08 PMCongratulations Jeff! All the best!
Ivan on March 12, 2009 12:12 PMGlad to hear this news
Congratulations Jeff!
That was 7 days past the due date!!! okay it was not six to eight weeks so i guess it is okay. congrats jeff. started to worry when i read about performance shell game, sharpening the saw, etc.
congrats man
jake on March 12, 2009 12:26 PMCongrats welcome little Level 1 Programmer! :)
Congrats man!
Kris on March 12, 2009 12:41 PMCongratulations !
Don't let him become a lawyer :-)
Just you wait till he starts at Art College, then you'll know pain :P
Jonny on March 13, 2009 2:07 AMCongrats Jeff! I thought you'd name him .NET Atwood ;)
SteD on March 13, 2009 2:10 AMCongrats Jeff! I also became a parent recently (January 7th) and I enjoy every moment of it :).
Marc on March 13, 2009 2:11 AMCongratulations!
Now it's really gonna be 68 weeks for everything Jeff plans to implement. ;)
macbirdie on March 13, 2009 2:12 AMCongratulations! A wonderful post! I predict his first word will be void. :)
Reine on March 13, 2009 2:19 AMatwood++;
Congratulations to you all.
Wish you all the best for his future.
Um, but who said he will become a programmer? ;)
Jeff did!
Congratulations.
Now somebody explain to me why seeing that blog's title made me think This is probably some pun about childbirth even though I had no idea Jeff was pregnant? (I thought he was just fat)
configurator on March 13, 2009 2:24 AMCongratulations!
I'm am little bit disappointed you didn't name him Joel, though :-)
All the best wishes from Germany.
Lars Fischer on March 13, 2009 2:25 AMCongratulations, and as others have said, PLEASE make the most of it. We here are just strangers, we won't die from less blog posts. Babies only happen once and they change VERY fast.
Having said which, have you thought of starting another blog for personal stuff? It's not that it doesn't interest me - rather the contrary - but I fear that you'll hold back from talking baby here as its supposed to be a tech blog.
Ben on March 13, 2009 2:25 AMMy Italian congratulations; not very original, perhaps, but very true!
Turro on March 13, 2009 2:27 AMcongratulations :-)
Very good and funny post - let's see how much time you will have in the near future for your blog ;-)
Congratulations Jeff Betsy! He's a handsome little guy!
But c'mon, we're geeks here...where are the rest of his stats? :)
Congratulations Betsy Jeff!
Craig Bovis on March 13, 2009 2:31 AMCongratulations!
Looking forward to having more time as you decrease the frequency of your blog posts :)
Now go read my blog to help you get started!
Goran on March 13, 2009 2:33 AMGratsz!
(That Twitter account is awesome!)
Congratulations !!
satish on March 13, 2009 2:34 AMCongratulations you two :)
benjynito on March 13, 2009 2:34 AMCongratulations Jeff and Betsy! May he always be happy and healthy and lucky!
Nikos Steiakakis on March 13, 2009 2:39 AMCongratulations, Jeff!
E on March 13, 2009 2:39 AMCongratulations, and God bless!
Chris on March 13, 2009 2:45 AMnice one.. what's its pid? ;)
Adam on March 13, 2009 2:47 AMCongratulations Jeff
Varun Mahajan on March 13, 2009 2:47 AMCongrats dude!
Lee Thomas on March 13, 2009 2:52 AMCongratulations to you both.
A very accurate description of the joys of childbirth there!
Deb on March 13, 2009 2:53 AMCongrats Jeff!!
Alfonso Jiménez on March 13, 2009 2:54 AMCongratulations Jeff!! May he outbest his father :)
Andrei Rinea on March 13, 2009 2:57 AMCongrats!!
You just both simultaneously won and lost the internet with this post ;)
Congratulations!
David on March 13, 2009 2:59 AMCongratulations, best wishes to the three of you! May he grow up to be a happy geek :)
Michiel on March 13, 2009 3:00 AMJeff - all the best for this new adventure!
Debugging a fiendishly complex app is a piece of cake compared to raising a child - but those little ones are SO worth it.
So let there lots of exceptions be thrown in your life from now on!
Thomas
PS Great blog, been reading it for many months now, but it's my first comment
tp100 on March 13, 2009 3:01 AMCongratulations :D
Ahmed kotb on March 13, 2009 3:03 AMCongratulations to you and the wife Jeff!
I do have to put a slight downer on this comment, though. I'm sure you know this already but I just want to comment that one needs to be very careful about sort of expectations can be set even this early on, even unintentionally. If it turns out that he really doesn't want to be a programmer or even involved with IT at all it could make for a very secretly unhappy upbringing.
I have never been a parent, but I have been a child.
Best of luck to you all. I have heard that parenting is one of the most difficult and rewarding experiences a human can have.
Wayne Koorts on March 13, 2009 3:03 AMCongratulations Jeff..
Dhany on March 13, 2009 3:04 AMGratz Jeff! ;)
[release pool]
Congrats :)
Ólafur Waage on March 13, 2009 3:09 AMCongrats to you Jeff, and obviously Betsy.
I just about spat my coffee out when I saw the Twitter name, that's classic.
Feel happy for you there man, having a kid is such an amazing adventure everyday.
Congratulations to all three of you!
Watch out for those nappy (diaper) overflow exceptions! ;)
Gareth Western on March 13, 2009 3:18 AMWhat else to say but Congrats!? (o:
Dav on March 13, 2009 3:19 AMCongratulations!
Leo on March 13, 2009 3:19 AMCongratulations!!
Congrats!
One thing, you sound like a cliche dad who kinda forces his child into following his footsteps. I'm a geek, and proud of it, but everyone should choose their own path.
What if henry turns out to be a jock with no interest whatsoever in computing.
I think the goal of parenting is to raise a good person.
Anyway, I'm just rambling. Whatever happens, I give you my best wishes
E.M. on March 13, 2009 3:22 AM
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| Content (c) 2009 Jeff Atwood. Logo image used with permission of the author. (c) 1993 Steven C. McConnell. All Rights Reserved. |
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